April 29, 2004
パッとスキッとサックリと
しないのは自分が本当に選びたい選択肢を選んでないからだと思う。
どうしたいのか分かっているのに、自分には出来ないと、
楽な方に楽な方に進んでいる。
GWの間にまた色々考えて回復したい。
自分がやりたいことはこうじゃない、と思いながら(バイトとかではなく私事で)
それをやるのをやめたい。
------------------------------------
社交的になろうと、人と積極的に話すようになってきているけれど、
何人かに「結構自分のこと話さないよね」と言われた…
単に何も考えてないだけですよ…
------------------------------------
バイト先でK木くんと接客の合間をぬって恋愛トーク。
話しながら、前に
「好きな人には２度と会わないかもしれないけれど
でも、変わったところをいつか見て欲しいから頑張る」
なんて思いながら努力しようとしていたのを思い出した。
いつもそれがあるからこそ努力出来てきたけれど、
そういうのまた忘れてた。これを忘れ始めると途端にだめになるなあ。
あとから振り返って嫌になる自分でいたくない。
もうそんなんはやめよう。
Posted by i at April 29, 2004 08:52 PM
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